Breathe.
Savannah could feel her heart pounding through her chest, chasing the adrenaline coursing through her veins. She walked over to the nearby water cooler, and took a few big gulps of water. She loved the way the cold liquid went down her throat, a good respite from the 32-degree weather today. As her breathing returned to a normal pace, she stretched out her legs and arms. A sharp pain jolted through her as she touched her injury-prone ankle.
Ugh, I shouldn’t have pushed myself so hard today. Typical Savannah, never stopping to breathe and pace my own progress.
Hobbling over to a bench, she sat down and started to people watch. She watched as an elderly couple power-walked past her, looking way more toned than she was. A kid was playing with a puppy, chasing the dog and screaming with laughter. A family was setting up a picnic blanket on the grass, lively with chatter as they laid out varieties of food and drinks. She found herself longing for such carefree moments. Moments where nothing mattered except the present. Moments where she could just let go and not feel guilty about the piling workload, or her bills, or the expectations from friends and family.
“You should study harder, become the top of your class. Then for sure, you’ll get into an Ivy League school. Oxford and Cambridge are good options too.”
“Have you applied for the investment banking internships yet? Or maybe you’re not looking for banking? How about the MBB consulting firms instead? All of us have applied already! You’d better hurry before applications close.”
“Did you hear that Lucy got married last month? She’s already pregnant, and expecting a little one soon. When are you going to have a boyfriend?”
“All your friends from college are already managers or team leads. When are you going to be promoted?”
At 28, Savannah was trying to get her life back on track. She was single, unemployed and lost. All her life, she had been chasing goals that were set up by her parents, and then swept up in the societal pressures of working in big reputable companies. She relentlessly climbed up the corporate ladder, moving from an associate to a senior to a consultant. She chased the dollars and exchanged them with time – working weekends, late nights and public holidays. She couldn’t remember the last time she met with her friends, or had a lazy day to do nothing; dating was a myth to her. The inertia of work mode left her no time to think about her priorities.
Then came the recession. The company lost many clients as businesses cut costs to stay afloat, and had to let go of some employees. She found herself now unemployed, together with many others who had fought hard for the company. It felt like a slap to her face. The company that she had given all her years to, had just let her go without a warning. She felt defeated and deflated – all that fight and it got her nowhere.
For the first time, she was faced with a choice. What companies would she apply for now? Will she be able to find a job during the recession? What would her parents say when they found out? Most importantly, what would make her happy? What kind of lifestyle and career would she want?
Savannah sighed. If only there was some kind of sign that could tell her what to do.
She felt paralyzed by the many questions that flooded her head. She had never been derailed off her pre-chosen path before, and now she struggled to make decisions that would have been simple to most people.
Lost in thought, Savannah suddenly felt someone sit down on the other end of the bench. It was a lady in her early fifties, with a towel around her neck and a cute sunflower hat that shielded her face from the sun. The lady nodded to Savannah and smiled. Her friendly face immediately put Savannah at ease.
“Hi. It’s rare to see someone young like you sitting at the park bench nowadays. I’m Cecilia. Nice to meet you.”
Savannah smiled back. “Hi Cecilia, I’m Savannah.”
“What a beautiful name! How is your morning so far?”
Savannah hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to be completely honest to a stranger, or to give a polite answer. Oh, what the heck. There’s nothing to lose.
“To be honest, if I was still with my previous company, I wouldn’t have had the time to come out here today. I’d be in front of my laptop, crunching numbers for some pitch deck. It’s a nice change.”
“Ahhh.. the corporate life. Can’t say I miss it. You know, I used to be managing director at Spectre until recently.”
“Really? The e-commerce giant Spectre? Wow. Must be cool working there.”
Cecilia and Savannah exchanged experiences and thoughts about the corporate life, chatting away like old friends. Cecilia shared her stories about millennials who came in expecting instant gratifications, and Savannah gave her thoughts on how difficult it is to stand out in a sea full of degree graduates with stellar CVs. The pair laughed and joked about how the times had changed – from baby boomers working hard to earn a living, to people seeking for purpose from their jobs nowadays.
Savannah asked, “What made you stop working, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“Hmm, I felt like I needed to take time off to do things that could bring me fulfillment. Now I’m spending my time helping non-profits with their money management. I’ve always wanted to give back to society, but never found the time to. Time is ticking, and it felt like chasing monetary gains was a never-ending goal.” Cecilia looked wistfully into the distance.
“I can relate to that. The goal post keeps moving and you are never really satisfied with what you have. There’s the pressure as well, of earning more than peers, or pushing yourself to achieve things quickly.”
Cecilia turned to face Savannah, with a gentle smile on her face. “Don’t rush it, Savannah. Take your time. I would tell my twenty-year-old self this, it will feel like the world is pushing you to achieve goals that you can tick off – promotions, bonuses, nice cars, big houses and all that. Put those aside and think of what really matters to your happiness. When you climb too fast, it gets lonely at the top. And when you look back on your life, do those things really matter?”
Savannah let the words sink into her. Hearing those words, she suddenly felt free – liberated of the what-ifs and peer pressure that had been weighing down on her. She nodded a grateful thank you to Cecilia.
“That’s great advice, Cecilia. I really needed to hear that. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, dear. I have to head off now, but remember, life’s too short to follow what everyone else wants you to do. All the best, Savannah. Hope to see you at the park again sometime. I have a feeling that very soon, you’ll be able to tell me that you soared.”
Cecilia got up, waved goodbye and set off towards the car park.
Savannah was truly grateful for the meaningful conversation she had with a kind stranger. Thank you Cecilia, you were exactly the sign I needed.
She realized now that all the pressure she felt was self-inflicted, and when she let go of that, she could do whatever she put her mind to. She just had to decide what it was first. She would soar, but she was in no rush.
I will soar, in my own time.
33 year-old Savannah sat down at her office desk. Since she started the company a few years back, she still had the habit of going through all the emails that came in. She scrolled through the emails, seeing if there were interesting opportunities to divert to her team. She suddenly stopped in surprise as she came across an email with a familiar name.
From: cecilia_teh@gmail.com
Subject: Greetings from a stranger in the park
Hi Savannah,
I hope you remember me from the park many years back. I know we’ve lost touch after a while, but the conversations we’ve had still make me smile til today. I was at the bookstore the other day, and whilst browsing for another book, I saw your face on the newest Fortune magazine! I’m really proud to read about how your company has been helping women deal with inequality in the workplace. I wish you all the best as you help women in our community find success, and shape changes in the world.
I just wanted to drop in to say hello. If you’re free and this email happens to find its way to you, do reply and set up a coffee session. Would love to catch up in person!
Yours truly,
Cecilia
A huge smile spread across Savannah’s face. She could finally tell Cecelia her story.
I did soar, in my own time.
Written by
Germaine Thai
Penwings Author
Poetry & Short Stories book coming out in 2022
